Assalamualaikum everyone!

I’m back! I know, I know—here I am, popping in and out like a surprise guest!

Now, I get it: blogging might not be the trend anymore. With endless social media platforms and those snappy short videos, it seems like everyone prefers to watch instead of read. But you know what? I just want to write! I miss pouring my heart out without worrying about being judged. So, here I am, ready to let my thoughts flow once in a while.

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It's October 17, 2024, and honestly? I’m feeling tired. Tired of life’s relentless pace. Sometimes I wonder about my future. I've lost interest in my current job, and I can’t quite pinpoint what truly interests me anymore. It feels like I’m wandering aimlessly in a fog.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not unhappy! Alhamdulillah, since I got married, my husband brings so much joy into my life. He goes above and beyond to make me feel like a queen. Is he perfect? Nope, but I’m grateful for everything he does. I’d say he’s the missing puzzle piece in my life, and now that puzzle is 99% complete!

But here’s the kicker: I feel this immense pressure. Pressure from everyone’s expectations. It’s a bit funny, isn’t it? I’m exhausted by all the praise I receive. I used to appreciate it, but now it feels like a heavy rock resting on my shoulders—weighty and painful.

I’m afraid of being laughed at. Afraid of making mistakes because people expect perfection from me. I don’t want my errors to burden others; I don’t want to be a burden myself. I hate that feeling.

Sometimes I wonder: Am I hating responsibility, or am I just being ungrateful for the life I have? I feel stuck—trapped within myself. Am I lost?

 Hi!

Last post was in 2019. Itu pun berhenti setakat part 1. Konon nak buat sambungan. Tapi, macam biasalah mood dah lari ke hujung dunia, tak terkejar.

Sebenarnya banyak je post yang dah draft, tapi tak publish. Bukan takat tak publish, Siap tak habis tulis lagi.

2019 -  dah lima tahun berlalu.

Life?

 - Alhamdulillah, dah selamat kahwin dengan D, my love dalam post bawah haha. 

(I selit sekali post dalam laci yang tak siap tu)

- I masih di tempat kerja yang sama, jawatan yang sama, gred yang sama, lambakan kerja je tak sama kahkah

- Bella kucing diva I dah pulang ke negeri abadi, beberapa hari sebelum I dirisik dan ayah jatuh sakit. Bella pergi setelah sebulan bertarung dengan FeLV dan kanser kidney  /  lymphoma.

- Uteh mula jajah rumah kami, since Raya Haji 2019. Sekarang dia lah majikan. 

- Ayah juga telah pulang kepada penciptaNya, November 2023. Hampir dua tahun ayah jalani dialisis air, ayah pergi kerana jangkitan kuman dalam paru-paru. Kehilangan paling besar dalam hidup.

Begitulah life update yang signifikan untuk lima tahun ini.

Harapnya ada lah kerajinan untuk terus update selepas ini. hihi.

PS: I nak tukar layout pun tak reti dah ni!